Saturday, November 22, 2008

Organizing and Control

I was just talking to a friend and we were talking about many things, but the topic of control and woman came up. We both agreed that we liked feeling in control. I think most people opposed to being out of control right? But control can go too far, be over the top and also cause trouble as I think we all know.
I thought it was interesting that she brought up someone she knew saying that this other woman...we will call her Sue has a completely controlled life. Sue has 2 children ages 11 and 13 who are not involved in any sports or activities. They do not attend church. They go to school and come home. Sue goes to work and comes home. Her husband arrives home from work at 3:30 everyday and Sue has dinner promptly on the table at 4:30 everyday. Dinner dishes are washed at 5:15 everyday. Her entire life is about routine and order. That isn't all bad, but there needs to be some flexibility in there to be healthy. Every minute is planned out perfectly. The family works well with the schedule. Ok...good. If life were always perfect there would never be a problem.
But life isn't always perfect and things don't always go the way we want them to. So you throw a curve ball into that situation and it ends up breaking a window!!! Sue can't handle anything that doesn't fit into her neatly packaged home. Sue had a situation that came up that was very upsetting to her and one of her children. Yes and we are all going to go through those! But because Sue's world is so regimented she couldn't handle it, doesn't know how to handle it and is striking out at all the wrong people! Her perfectly controlled world is now out of her control and she is now out of control mentally because of it.
I have to say that I like order and control myself. It makes me feel safe if things are going the way I am used to and have planned out. But I am realistic to know that things do come up and they have (divorce was kind of a biggie that I never expected or wanted for that matter. But I'm so thankful now that he did leave me...but that is a whole different story! Hee hee!!), but although there can be tears and concern and worries - it shouldn't send us into crazy zone either.

Organizing can be a control thing. It puts everything in its place and into its box. When things don't have a box (place) to go into...then the anxiety comes into play. Order = Peacefulness for some people. (including myself).
But we have to also be flexible if we are to cope with what life throws at us. So if the holiday decorations sit on the basement floor for a few days after Christmas because you don't have the time to get them all put away, or there is some extra stuff in the garage from the craft show you did 3 weeks ago that you need to find a new spot for.... then we just need to learn to chill. It doesn't mean we are doesn't mean we don't have control of our doesn't mean we are a failure at just means we are human and things come into our lives that we aren't expecting.

All we can do is try are best. We are not always going to be perfect at anything (only Jesus can claim that one!). If we have a bad day and do not get to all the things we planned for that day, then relax and put it on the list for tomorrow. Don't beat yourself up. We have enough stress in our lives. Organizing should be something that is helpful and makes us feel good. Not something that stresses us because we can't do it perfectly.

Be thankful for the good things. Be thankful for your family and your home. Look for the positives when your life seems out of control. Be thankful if your family has their health.

After talking to my friend today, it made me realize how thankful I am for my grown children. They put me though some hard times, but not like some people go through everyday. I realized how proud I am of each of them, and I called them to tell them. I am not good enough at praising my boys for all they have accomplished or their character. I am a very blessed mother and wife.

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